Brother Book - Outed Edition

SCENARIO: You decide it is time to come out as gay to your brother. I suppose in this module it doesn't have to be a brother. Coming out to anyone maybe. I hold everyone by the same standards, really. Let's just assume it's a guy, though. Coming out to random guy called Brother for the purpose of this scenario.


BAD BROTHER:

Me: Brother...?
Brother: Mm?
Me: I have something to tell you.
Brother: *burps
Me:...
Brother: SO?
Me: So... can I tell you?
Brother: Whatev. 
(Brother turns on television.)
Me: I am gay.
Brother: *burps
Me: ...
Brother: lol, spongebob's in a jar. bwahahaha.
Me: Brother, listen to what I have to say!
Brother: Later, sis. Imma go hang out with my bros.
Me: ...

OR

Me: Brother?
Brother: Yah?
Me: I'm gay.
Brother:...
Brother: LOL good one! *cracks up
Me: ...

OR

Me: Brother?
Brother: Yes, oh sister?
Me: I am gay.
Brother: ...
Brother: Well that's STUPID.
Me: ...
Me: :(

OR

Me: Brother?
Brother: Yes, sister dear?
Me: I have something I want to tell you...
Brother: I'm listening.
Me: I...
Brother: Yeah?
Me: am...
Brother: It's okay... you can trust me!
Me: ...
Me: *sigh
Me: gay.
Brother: WTF!!!!
*throws turkey
*turkey guts explode all over my new shirt
Me: *gasp
Brother: HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME???
Me: ... :(
Brother: HERE!!!
*tosses trays of turkey guts at me. I drop them and they spill on my shoes.
Brother: Take that to your lesbo cult!
Me: Brother, be reasonable!
Brother: YOU ARE DEAD TO ME.
Me: :(

OR

Me: Brother?
Brother: Yeah?
Me: I'm gay.
Brother: BLAAAAAAAARGH!!!! *flies into murderous rage and murders me with an axe (murderous, murders, geddit?)


GOOD BROTHER:

Me: Brother?
Brother: Yes?
Me: I need to tell you something.
Brother: Don't worry. I'm here for you. You can tell me anything.
Me: I... I'm...
Brother: Relax. I won't judge you.
Me: I'm gay!
Brother: !
Brother: Thank you for telling me. I'm touched that you trust me with something like that.
Me: Aw, thanks.
Brother: If you ever need to talk, I'm on your side!


MY BROTHER:

Me: Benjamin?
Benjamin: Yeah?
Me: Can I talk to you?
Benjamin: Sure...
Me: ...
Me: I'm... gay.
Benjamin: Really?
Me: Yup.
Benjamin: Wow. 
...
Me: *long gushy rant about my romantic experienc
Benjamin: Huh. I guess I'm still sort of surprised.
Me: I haven't told Mom and Dad yet.
Benjamin: Are you going to?
Me:...
Me: Yeah, probably...
*long gushy rant about my feelings
Benjamin: Okay.
Me: You have crushes too!
Benjamin: Yeah.
*long discussion about Benjamin's feelings. Benjamin is surprisingly cooperative.
Me: Didn't you see *crush* the other day?
Benjamin: Yeah...
Me: Meaningful wide-eyed look (I'm very bad at being subtle when we get into conversations like this. I'm not trying to tease him or anything, but it really bothers him. I'm getting better at being more... considerate of my facial expressions.)
Benjamin: Bwargh! *punches me
Me: I'm sorry! I'm so so so so sorry!
Benjamin: *flops on pillow
Me: Agh Benjamin noooooooo
5 minutes later...
Me: So yeah. Yay.
Benjamin: Okay.
Me: Cool!