Bases vs Basketball

Hey! Blogger was being annoying yesterday, so I couldn't post this. Sorry for the delay! Let's just PRETEND that this was up yesterday. Don't worry, I'll be posting a lot this week! ~J

Today we were having a little holiday fest at school. 
Some MUSIC.
Some dancing.
Some slideshows. 
And some basketball.
DUM DUM DUUUUUUUUUUM
(Foreshadowing - woop!) 
Let's start with the music.
I play viola. Actually, I play violin. But I play viola in school orchestra to occupy myself. Just as a clarification, violas are BIGGER than violins, okay? Not smaller. I'm not even sure where anyone heard that. They probably didn't. Violas are BIG. They have a C string rather than an E. 
They are not mini-violins!
*scowl*
Anyways. Viola. So, we (meaning the orchestra) have these five pieces we polished for the official concert on December 8th. We played four of them for each grade. The same four.
Last year for the holiday whatsit, each grade had a similar program.
1) Singing performance group in auditorium.
2) Theatre arts semester class for that grade
3) Band/orchestra/chorus
This year, our program was like this for each grade:
1) Orchestra pieces (wahoo)
2) Jazz band pieces
3) Basketball (shudder) contest thingy
4) Slideshow
5) Dance contest
6) ?*
*I left before this point so I wouldn't miss Social Studies. Did we do anything here, peers?
ANYWAYS, I was not looking forwards to laboring under the same old boring pieces. Thrice. But it turned out okay. I felt bad for the jazz band having to listen to us over and over again.  Well, then the basketball thing happened. 
Teacher: Let's give it up for the Inman Jazz Eagles and the Inman Eagle Orchestra!
Nice kids: Yaaay! Go orchestra! You guys did great!
Irksome Kids: WOOO! LET'S MAKE NOISE CUZ WE'RE A BUNCH OF APES!
Teacher: Yay! And now, we have a special treat!
Coach: Come on up and chuck LARGE HEAVY EVIL basketballs at our orchestra and their instruments!
(Actually, he really said something like this:)
Coach: When we call your section of the bleachers, anyone who wants to can toss a basketball at either one of these two hoops [RIGHT OVER THE ORCHESTRA]!!!!
Ms. Shields: WHAT
Ms. Shields 2: WHAT
Me: WHAT
Coach: Everyone come line up...
Kids: WE'RE BLOODTHIRSTY! MUAHAHAHA!
Orchestra: AAAAGH!
Violinist: CLOSE THE CURTAINS!
Cellist: Then we can't see our impending doom!
Violist: EVACUATE!
Kids: VIOLENTRAGEOFEVILBALLS!
Us: Waaaaugh!


So, to those of you who might be confused about the layout of the auditorium, here's a little map:


So the basket ball goal is right in front of the stage. Us musicians improvised. We barricaded the stage with the basses, then stacked the cellos on top. The violists were shoved on top to hit the balls with bows.
No, we didn't actually do that. Still, it would have been impressive. We could have marched out, bows in our fists, and annihilate the entire grade!
In reality, all we did was panic.
We quaked each time the ball rebounded. I'm indignant that we were not consulted as a bunch of 7th graders were about to POUND US TO MUSH WITH BALLS!!!
Luckily, we were not injured by the seventh graders.
But then the eighth graders came.
DUM DUM DUUUUUUUM....
At first everything was fine.
But then a ball came SOARING from between the backboard and the supports, plummeting into the first violin section!
What I should have done:

What I did:

Self preservation!
Anyways, although it did nearly topple several chairs, nothing was directly harmed. 
I then joined a brigade of violists who sat on the edge of the stage, then battered down the onslaught of basket balls missing the hoop. 
It was terrifying.
Moral:
Basketballs and basses do not mix. In fact, basketballs rarely mix with anything. Especially me.
~Julia